Everything was going great until you showed up. You see me across the crowded room, make your way over, and start talking at me. And you don’t stop.
You are a Democrat, an outspoken atheist, and a foodie. You like to say “Science!” in a weird, self-congratulatory way. You wear jeans during the day, and fancy jeans at night. You listen to music featuring wispy lady vocals and electronic bloop-bloops.
You really like coffee, except for Starbucks, which is the worst. No wait—Coke is the worst! Unless it’s Mexican Coke, in which case it’s the best.
Pixar. Kitty cats. Uniqlo. Bourbon. Steel-cut oats. Comic books. Obama. Fancy burgers.
You listen to the same five podcasts and read the same seven blogs as all your pals. You stay up late...
Subscribe or log in
to read the rest of this article,
or download The Magazine’s app
for iPad and iPhone.
Subscriptions are just $1.99 per month and include access to the website, the app, and all back issues.
We’re independently owned, have no ads, and are entirely funded by subscribers.
We’re independently owned, have no ads, and are entirely funded by subscribers.